Sunday 1 December 2013

Trick children santa exists (Santa lie)

When I was a child my parents used to annually trick me in to believing Father Christmas dropped down my chimney to deliver my presents. This went on for too long.

1) If you have a chimney, attatch a little red fur to a sharp edge of the fire or surround. And if you don't have a chimney then why not leave it next to your door?

2) Boot Marks ; Add a little soot to a pair of wellington boots and make some foot prints on your fire surround. Don't forget to clean the wellies or your cover will be blown.

3) Encourage your child to leave food for Santa. And when your child goes to bed, thats your supper sorted.

4) Here is a top tip which will save you money whilst getting the chores around your house done! Don't get your child the latest xbox, Ipad or anything expensive. With this little trick your child will be chuffed with a satsuma and a candy cane.

Next to the Satsuma and Candy cane leave Santa's letter ;

"Hello *your child's name here*, thanks for your Christmas wishlist. Unfortunately you have been awful all year. 


You havn't tidied your room at a good enough standard, you havn't washed the pots and youve done very little around the house. 

Next year, if you work hard around the house by cleaning every day, washing the pots, hoovering, doing your homework, going to bed earlier to give your parents a break from you whining then next year you will get you exactly what you want, but for now...

All the best,

Santa."

5) There's nothing more natural than the fact humans turd... we all do it!
That includes father Christmas. Leave a huge turd in the toilet for when your child wakes up in the morning... run the soot boot foot steps from step 2 down to the fire!

6) Bomb the Christmas presents off this year and leave decapitated Santa head under your chimney.

7) Trick your child it's Christmas Eve the day before Christmas Eve.

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